As it turns out, I just learned that my estranged girlfriend Vera is having a sexual affair with her scumbag boss at whatever company she works for. To get over my heartbreak, I'm going to follow in the footsteps of my father and go practice medicine in Vietnam.
No wait, that's the current plotline of Mary Worth.
Actually, while my parents are off gallivanting around the world I have to raise my two younger siblings and still maintain my position as star basketball player for Milford High. No, dammit, that's Gil Thorp! Curse you and your spit curl, A-Train! 
No, the real story is that I didn't get the job. Someone more technically skilled than I got it and I was never even in the running. I was the Mike Gravel of this particular contest. That extra 10 grand a year sure would have been nice, but then again, the stress probably would have wound up being more trouble than it was worth. Sour grapes? Why, yes, thank you! Don't mind if I do! I'm just kind of annoyed that I wasted two months of perfectly good worrying on it. That stuff doesn't come cheap, you know! I think tonight calls for the twin foundations of the British Empire: Scotch and Doctor Who.
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